Homophobia can be hurtful, but there are methods that you can use to deal with it.
Homophobia affects both gay and straight teenagers and is usually demonstrated through bullying and name calling. Here's how to cope.
1. Educate yourself. Refuse to respond to the bullying. Turn and walk away. Learn about what makes someone indulge homophobia. Read school literature to find out the policies on school bullying.
2. Share with those you trust. Gain emotional support by talking about the homophobic behaviours experienced with family members, friends , teachers and others you trust. Receive support from friends by walking to and from class with them.
3. Encourage others who have witnessed acts of homophobia to speak up and share the incidents with authority figures in the school.
4. Speak to your school principal/ head teacher. Report the bullying and find out what methods can be used to resolve the conflict.
5. Discuss your feelings with a school counsellor. Deal with the emotions associated with bullying by talking to the school counsellor. Consider making an appointment with the bully in order to let them know how his behaviour has affected you. Have someone who can restrain the bully in case he resorts to violence accompany you to that meeting.
6. Change your phone number and email address to prevent receiving hate messages. Give out new contact information only to trusted friends.
7. Create a gay-straight alliance at your school. These groups are open to any students regardless of sexual orientation and can be used to educate others about the effects of homophobia and bullying.
8. Remember, you won’t be at school forever, you will soon leave and enter a whole new world where YOU get to choose who YOUR friends are, it may seem like it’s an age away but trust me in a few years time you’ll look back and realise that what you went through made you a stronger person, it really will get better.
9. Don’t suffer in silence, join groups in your area or online, there are HUGE communities on facebook like LGBT South Wales (UK) as well as many other groups that can offer support, such as Stonewall. Sometimes it just helps to be a part of a group that is none judgmental.
What to do if your child is the victim of homophobic bullying at school.
Your child can be a victim of homophobic bullying, gay or not. The effects are serious. Pupils who are homophobically bullied agree it affects their school work. They suffer from low self-esteem. Some skip school, reducing their opportunities and their aspirations.
But it’s not just LGBT young people who are targeted – homophobic bullying can be used against anyone, especially those who are different in some way.
Homophobic bullying is the most frequent form of bullying after bullying because of weight, according to research – yet nine in ten primary and secondary school staff have never received any specific training on how to prevent and respond to this type of bullying.
Parents and carers can play an important role in tackling homophobic bullying.
Talk to your child. Ask how they are feeling and if everything is OK at school, rather than if they are being bullied. They may be embarrassed and worried that you will think they are gay, so might choose not to say anything.
Remember that homophobic bullying can affect any young person, regardless of their sexual orientation. Just because your child is experiencing homophobic bullying does not necessarily mean that he or she is LGBT.
Be supportive. Your child needs to know that if they do decide to talk to you about bullying, you will listen and that they can trust you with what they tell you. Let them tell you in their own time, and ask them how they want to proceed. Preferably approach the school together.
Check with the school what procedures they have in place for dealing with bullying and in particular, homophobic bullying. Involve your child in any decisions that are taken on how to tackle the bullying. If you are not satisfied with how your child’s teacher responds, talk to the head teacher or bring it to the attention of the school governors - including your child at every stage.
Check that the school has a separate anti-homophobic bullying policy and not something tacked on to their general bullying policy. Ask to see it, and if they haven’t got one, ask why not and insist this is remedied.
Go into the school and challenge them. They have a duty of care to all children. Research shows that in schools where children are explicitly taught that homophobic bullying is wrong, rates of such bullying are dramatically reduced, and pupils feel safer.
If the bullying doesn’t stop, go to your Local Education Authority and demand action. Changing schools can work in some cases but often a vulnerable child is vulnerable wherever they go.
Encourage your child to take up judo or another form of self-defence. This will boost their confidence that they can defend themselves if necessary.
Get across the point that being gay is normal - perhaps by making positive comments about gay people, such as friends or celebrities.
If your child comes out, put them in touch with support groups in your area, where they will meet positive gay role models and find a safe space to share their feelings.
How to deal with Homophobic abuse, whether you are LGBT or not.
Although homosexuality is becoming more accepted, homosexuals still deal with homophobic abuse in the form of verbal or physical bullying at home, work and elsewhere. Realise it’s not your fault if you’re dealing with homophobic abuse. The abuser is the one with the problem.
Stand up for yourself if you’re in a safe public place with other people around. If the person seems like he may become violent, avoid confrontation and report him to the police if you live in a country with laws against homophobic abuse. In some countries, you can report it online.
Walk places with a friend or in a group of people. You’re more likely to be verbally or physically abused if you’re alone.
Project confidence and pride in who you are. Treating yourself with respect will attract respect from others.
Know where the trouble spots are for homophobic abuse and try to avoid them. Stay in well-lighted areas, walk against oncoming traffic and trust your instincts. Although you don’t want to be controlled by fear, it’s better to avoid confrontation if possible.
Look online for gay rights organisations, such as LGBT South Wales (UK), that can give you advice. There are also online sites with advice in dealing with bullies.
Seek counselling if you’re emotionally unable to deal with the abuse. Prolonged abuse could lead to stress disorders.
Don’t suffer in silence, and don’t live in fear, report hate crimes and tell people about your experiences, if nobody says anything about homophobic bullying nothing will ever change, and if you don’t ask for support nobody will knock on your door to offer it.
REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!
How to handle homophobic behaviour.
Homophobic behaviour is something that most every gay person , and some who aren't gay, has to deal with , possibly even regularly. However, there is a right way and a wrong way to handle homophobic remarks.
1. Remain calm. This can be difficult. Nobody likes being singled out, especially for something that is beyond their control, like their sexuality. Everyone has the right to not be harassed or persecuted for who they are, but when you are it's important to assess the situation and deal with it in a way that's helpful to you as a person, and ideally, the gay community as a whole. Remember, remain calm!!! Losing your temper or becoming emotional is not likely to help your situation.
2. Remain respectful if this is a work or school related incident. It's important. Openly and honestly tell the person who made the remark how it made you feel. Tell them that you do not appreciate this kind of behaviour and you do not find it to be acceptable. Once again, it is important that you remain calm while you're speaking with this person. You do not want to come off as unreasonable or reactionary. Then, leave it at that. For most people this will be enough.
3. Talk to the person if it is a social situation. Tell them how their remarks made you feel. They may not even realise how hurtful their remarks can be. Many people don't have any idea what it's like to be a minority, but often when they understand from your point of view they'll begin to understand.
4. Ignore them, if someone you don't work with or don't know beings making homophobic remarks to you there might be less that you can do. I wouldn't recommend telling them how you feel. It's doubtful you're going to change them or effect their behavior in any way. It's up to you if you want to be rude back, but I would suggest taking the high ground. If they're making homophobic remarks to you they are probably just trying to get a rise out of you or start a fight. Don't give them the satisfaction.
5. Take further action if you have dealt with the harassment in the way I suggested and it still continues. If the harassment is taking place in the workplace, talking to your (or their) supervisor may be the best course of action. If you're dealing with homophobic remarks from a friend or acquaintance the best idea may be to distance yourself from that person. There's no reason to continue a relationship with someone who is putting you down in this way. If you're being harassed by someone you don't know it may even be a good idea to involve the police.
6. Report hate crimes and harassment, in some countries this can be done online. If nobody complains nothing will change.
7. Remember, you are NOT the one in the wrong, it's not YOUR fault that there are bigoted people in the world, and don't suffer in silence, tell someone, you are NOT alone.
How to Deal With Homophobic Friends and Relatives.
You've come out to the family, but some of your relatives would like you to go back into the closet! When someone makes homophobic comments at Aunt Velma's birthday party or just doesn't have a clue how to talk about gay issues, you don't have to be rude to stay true to yourself.
1. Just say "no" when invited to a family function without your partner. It can be a heart-wrenching stance at first, but if you want to your family to honour your relationship, you must honour it first.
2. Gently correct stereotypes with humour. When your cousin says, "You're a gay man-can you help me pick soft furnishings?" just say, "Hey, you've been watching too much 'Queer Eye'; I'm really more skilled at football."
3. Speak up. When someone introduces your partner as your "friend," in a friendly tone, say, "Yes, this is my partner, Shelly."
4. Be honest. When your nephew asks if you and your friend Bill live together, tell him, "yes." Then let little Tommy's parents know they need to tell him that there are many kinds of relationships..
5. Cut them some slack. Try to manage your anger and explore your own issues so you can respond calmly in the moment. Understand that they are products of their own upbringing and their only enlightenment may come from you.
6. Be realistic. Don't expect homophobic comments to stop overnight,
7. Remember that your coming out may be a shock to some people, maybe they didn't expect that at all, and maybe they are unsure of what is the right thing to say. As time goes on it gets better.
8. If things don't go so well remember that it's NOT your fault, you are being true to yourself, I always use the phrase "Those that matter don't mind and those that mind don't matter".
14 Ways Homophobia and Transphobia Affect Everyone.
Homophobia and transphobia affect everyone; they have serious consequences for both LGBT and straight people.
Ways that Homophobia and Transphobia Affect The LGBT Community.
How Homophobia and Transphobia Affect Straight People.
Homophobia affects both gay and straight teenagers and is usually demonstrated through bullying and name calling. Here's how to cope.
1. Educate yourself. Refuse to respond to the bullying. Turn and walk away. Learn about what makes someone indulge homophobia. Read school literature to find out the policies on school bullying.
2. Share with those you trust. Gain emotional support by talking about the homophobic behaviours experienced with family members, friends , teachers and others you trust. Receive support from friends by walking to and from class with them.
3. Encourage others who have witnessed acts of homophobia to speak up and share the incidents with authority figures in the school.
4. Speak to your school principal/ head teacher. Report the bullying and find out what methods can be used to resolve the conflict.
5. Discuss your feelings with a school counsellor. Deal with the emotions associated with bullying by talking to the school counsellor. Consider making an appointment with the bully in order to let them know how his behaviour has affected you. Have someone who can restrain the bully in case he resorts to violence accompany you to that meeting.
6. Change your phone number and email address to prevent receiving hate messages. Give out new contact information only to trusted friends.
7. Create a gay-straight alliance at your school. These groups are open to any students regardless of sexual orientation and can be used to educate others about the effects of homophobia and bullying.
8. Remember, you won’t be at school forever, you will soon leave and enter a whole new world where YOU get to choose who YOUR friends are, it may seem like it’s an age away but trust me in a few years time you’ll look back and realise that what you went through made you a stronger person, it really will get better.
9. Don’t suffer in silence, join groups in your area or online, there are HUGE communities on facebook like LGBT South Wales (UK) as well as many other groups that can offer support, such as Stonewall. Sometimes it just helps to be a part of a group that is none judgmental.
What to do if your child is the victim of homophobic bullying at school.
Your child can be a victim of homophobic bullying, gay or not. The effects are serious. Pupils who are homophobically bullied agree it affects their school work. They suffer from low self-esteem. Some skip school, reducing their opportunities and their aspirations.
But it’s not just LGBT young people who are targeted – homophobic bullying can be used against anyone, especially those who are different in some way.
Homophobic bullying is the most frequent form of bullying after bullying because of weight, according to research – yet nine in ten primary and secondary school staff have never received any specific training on how to prevent and respond to this type of bullying.
Parents and carers can play an important role in tackling homophobic bullying.
Talk to your child. Ask how they are feeling and if everything is OK at school, rather than if they are being bullied. They may be embarrassed and worried that you will think they are gay, so might choose not to say anything.
Remember that homophobic bullying can affect any young person, regardless of their sexual orientation. Just because your child is experiencing homophobic bullying does not necessarily mean that he or she is LGBT.
Be supportive. Your child needs to know that if they do decide to talk to you about bullying, you will listen and that they can trust you with what they tell you. Let them tell you in their own time, and ask them how they want to proceed. Preferably approach the school together.
Check with the school what procedures they have in place for dealing with bullying and in particular, homophobic bullying. Involve your child in any decisions that are taken on how to tackle the bullying. If you are not satisfied with how your child’s teacher responds, talk to the head teacher or bring it to the attention of the school governors - including your child at every stage.
Check that the school has a separate anti-homophobic bullying policy and not something tacked on to their general bullying policy. Ask to see it, and if they haven’t got one, ask why not and insist this is remedied.
Go into the school and challenge them. They have a duty of care to all children. Research shows that in schools where children are explicitly taught that homophobic bullying is wrong, rates of such bullying are dramatically reduced, and pupils feel safer.
If the bullying doesn’t stop, go to your Local Education Authority and demand action. Changing schools can work in some cases but often a vulnerable child is vulnerable wherever they go.
Encourage your child to take up judo or another form of self-defence. This will boost their confidence that they can defend themselves if necessary.
Get across the point that being gay is normal - perhaps by making positive comments about gay people, such as friends or celebrities.
If your child comes out, put them in touch with support groups in your area, where they will meet positive gay role models and find a safe space to share their feelings.
How to deal with Homophobic abuse, whether you are LGBT or not.
Although homosexuality is becoming more accepted, homosexuals still deal with homophobic abuse in the form of verbal or physical bullying at home, work and elsewhere. Realise it’s not your fault if you’re dealing with homophobic abuse. The abuser is the one with the problem.
Stand up for yourself if you’re in a safe public place with other people around. If the person seems like he may become violent, avoid confrontation and report him to the police if you live in a country with laws against homophobic abuse. In some countries, you can report it online.
Walk places with a friend or in a group of people. You’re more likely to be verbally or physically abused if you’re alone.
Project confidence and pride in who you are. Treating yourself with respect will attract respect from others.
Know where the trouble spots are for homophobic abuse and try to avoid them. Stay in well-lighted areas, walk against oncoming traffic and trust your instincts. Although you don’t want to be controlled by fear, it’s better to avoid confrontation if possible.
Look online for gay rights organisations, such as LGBT South Wales (UK), that can give you advice. There are also online sites with advice in dealing with bullies.
Seek counselling if you’re emotionally unable to deal with the abuse. Prolonged abuse could lead to stress disorders.
Don’t suffer in silence, and don’t live in fear, report hate crimes and tell people about your experiences, if nobody says anything about homophobic bullying nothing will ever change, and if you don’t ask for support nobody will knock on your door to offer it.
REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!
How to handle homophobic behaviour.
Homophobic behaviour is something that most every gay person , and some who aren't gay, has to deal with , possibly even regularly. However, there is a right way and a wrong way to handle homophobic remarks.
1. Remain calm. This can be difficult. Nobody likes being singled out, especially for something that is beyond their control, like their sexuality. Everyone has the right to not be harassed or persecuted for who they are, but when you are it's important to assess the situation and deal with it in a way that's helpful to you as a person, and ideally, the gay community as a whole. Remember, remain calm!!! Losing your temper or becoming emotional is not likely to help your situation.
2. Remain respectful if this is a work or school related incident. It's important. Openly and honestly tell the person who made the remark how it made you feel. Tell them that you do not appreciate this kind of behaviour and you do not find it to be acceptable. Once again, it is important that you remain calm while you're speaking with this person. You do not want to come off as unreasonable or reactionary. Then, leave it at that. For most people this will be enough.
3. Talk to the person if it is a social situation. Tell them how their remarks made you feel. They may not even realise how hurtful their remarks can be. Many people don't have any idea what it's like to be a minority, but often when they understand from your point of view they'll begin to understand.
4. Ignore them, if someone you don't work with or don't know beings making homophobic remarks to you there might be less that you can do. I wouldn't recommend telling them how you feel. It's doubtful you're going to change them or effect their behavior in any way. It's up to you if you want to be rude back, but I would suggest taking the high ground. If they're making homophobic remarks to you they are probably just trying to get a rise out of you or start a fight. Don't give them the satisfaction.
5. Take further action if you have dealt with the harassment in the way I suggested and it still continues. If the harassment is taking place in the workplace, talking to your (or their) supervisor may be the best course of action. If you're dealing with homophobic remarks from a friend or acquaintance the best idea may be to distance yourself from that person. There's no reason to continue a relationship with someone who is putting you down in this way. If you're being harassed by someone you don't know it may even be a good idea to involve the police.
6. Report hate crimes and harassment, in some countries this can be done online. If nobody complains nothing will change.
7. Remember, you are NOT the one in the wrong, it's not YOUR fault that there are bigoted people in the world, and don't suffer in silence, tell someone, you are NOT alone.
How to Deal With Homophobic Friends and Relatives.
You've come out to the family, but some of your relatives would like you to go back into the closet! When someone makes homophobic comments at Aunt Velma's birthday party or just doesn't have a clue how to talk about gay issues, you don't have to be rude to stay true to yourself.
1. Just say "no" when invited to a family function without your partner. It can be a heart-wrenching stance at first, but if you want to your family to honour your relationship, you must honour it first.
2. Gently correct stereotypes with humour. When your cousin says, "You're a gay man-can you help me pick soft furnishings?" just say, "Hey, you've been watching too much 'Queer Eye'; I'm really more skilled at football."
3. Speak up. When someone introduces your partner as your "friend," in a friendly tone, say, "Yes, this is my partner, Shelly."
4. Be honest. When your nephew asks if you and your friend Bill live together, tell him, "yes." Then let little Tommy's parents know they need to tell him that there are many kinds of relationships..
5. Cut them some slack. Try to manage your anger and explore your own issues so you can respond calmly in the moment. Understand that they are products of their own upbringing and their only enlightenment may come from you.
6. Be realistic. Don't expect homophobic comments to stop overnight,
7. Remember that your coming out may be a shock to some people, maybe they didn't expect that at all, and maybe they are unsure of what is the right thing to say. As time goes on it gets better.
8. If things don't go so well remember that it's NOT your fault, you are being true to yourself, I always use the phrase "Those that matter don't mind and those that mind don't matter".
14 Ways Homophobia and Transphobia Affect Everyone.
Homophobia and transphobia affect everyone; they have serious consequences for both LGBT and straight people.
Ways that Homophobia and Transphobia Affect The LGBT Community.
- Homophobia and transphobia make many LGBT people feel isolated, lonely, and ashamed.
- Homophobia and transphobia create an environment in which LGBT people may have to face harassment and even violence in their schools, communities and/or homes.
- Homophobia and transphobia make some LGBT people 'act straight' to hide their sexual orientation or gender identity.
- Homophobia forces many gay, lesbian, bisexual, and questioning youth to become sexually active before they really want to, choosing partners of the opposite sex just to hide their sexual orientation or their questions. Transphobia forces many transgender youth to become sexually active before they really want to just so they can hide their gender identity.
- Homophobia and transphobia contribute to the self-doubt that makes many LGBT people turn to drugs and/or alcohol to numb their feelings.
- Homophobia and transphobia cause many LGBT youth to drop out of school and/or run away.
- Homophobia and transphobia cause many LGBT people to think about and/or even attempt suicide. Many of the youth who kill themselves are LGBT.
How Homophobia and Transphobia Affect Straight People.
- Homophobia and transphobia pressure straight people to act unkindly or even cruelly towards LGBT people and encourage bullying and cruelty toward anyone whose appearance or behavior isn't sufficiently 'macho' or 'feminine' (from the viewpoint of the bully).
- Homophobia and transphobia force straight people to act 'straight,' limiting their individuality and self-expression. Straight youth often choose their clothes, hair color/style, friends, and even behavior to 'prove' that they are not LGBT.
- Homophobia and transphobia can destroy family relationships. Some parents, sisters, brothers, and even grandparents break off their relationships with LGBT family members.
- Homophobia and transphobia lead many straight youth to become sexually active before they really want to just to 'prove' they are straight.
- Homophobia, along with racism, sexism, and poverty, makes it hard to end the HIV epidemic.
- Homophobia and transphobia make it very hard for straight people and LGBT people to be friends.
- Homophobia and transphobia make it nearly impossible for people to appreciate diversity and the wonderful variety that exists among all people.
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